Here's a bat, Yr a hit with me

neuer eintrag

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 12:10:49 GMT

redonks

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:31:45 GMT

There have been so many moments this week where I wished I could "find God" but I just can't bring myself to it.

SHIT IS REAL

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 03:48:02 GMT

Ok, I am pretty bummed because I am desperate for a job. Maybe I haven't put enough energy into finding one, but fuck. I hope the temp agency calls me tomorrow because I would rilly like to stay in Europe for at least a couple weeks after my classes end and without that ca$h, it's not rilly gunna happen.

In other news (like I ever rilly have rill news to share,) I turn 21 on Thurs. That's cool, right?

Also, a lot of intense shit has been happening. I don't know how to explain it, let alone think about it straight yet but 2006 is big things, SHIT IS REAL. IT'S RILLY RILL. I dun want to go laying any gauntlets down on myself, but I feel like some "make it or break it" type situations are on the bound.

And lastly, I can not, REPEAT CANNOT, get enuff of Jessica Hopper's writing or female grime rappers. Lady Sov is my jam. The plan is to grow my hair out long so I can rock the rows/side pony tail look ala Miss Sovereign.

to bed but first...

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 04:37:38 GMT

I think Amanda Ferri is the funniest person I know. Good time at China Pan tonight, friends.

alternatingly healthy and not so healthy

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 17:36:42 GMT

i had this dream last night that i was at some sort of holiday function at pratt and mariah carey was there wearing some insane gold getup with maximum cleavage/butt crack chillin' and laura was like "i'm gonna go talk to her" and i was all "NO! SHE'S CRAZY!!! DON'T DO IT!!!" and the next think i knew i was turning to jen, asking "where's laura?" and jen said "i think she's talking to mariah carey."

what??

also, i really want to move to portland but new york is starting to do this weird thing to my brain where every few days i start to really miss it and i'm starting to wonder if in fact i really love it and someday i won't be able to imagine living somewhere else. but then the reality of my monetary situation occurs to me and i think "oh yeah, right."

gosh, best friends are the best!

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 05:39:24 GMT

me: i am so glad we got to hang out today
me: i freakin love you
xxxx: getting a hug from you today was the top 2 things that has happened to me this month
xxxx: i freakin love you too.....I'm allready stoked to see you again real soon
me: i am going to be here for so long
me: it's starting to freak me out a little
me: but atleast i will get to see you a lot more!

xxxx: but considering you are going to be in holy far away germany its not that big of a deal
me: yeah
xxxx: I will be here to hang out with you as much as possible and we can do awesome things together

me: being 20 is no less confusing than being 13, in fact it's worse
xxxx: yeah its gets more difficult
me: i feel like there is so much life yet to live and i can't even begin to think about putting my future together
xxxx: but you can find yourself discovering things that are amazing that you cant experience at 13
me: that's true
xxxx: you are so young right now you dont have to assemble your whole future. you just have to breath, love, learn, and grow and then you will end up where you are supposed to be
xxxx: i have no doubt you will do amazing things
xxxx: thats why i want you close because i want to tag along to your greatness
me: i want to tag along to your greatness!!!
xxxx: you are so amazing
me: we are such nerds
xxxx: yeah we are....
me: just telling each other how much we love each other
xxxx: its ok with me though
me: me too
xxxx: im glad that i get to.....i would hate to not have you know

me: seriously, i think our friendship transcends everything
me: it is so amazing and i am very lucky to have a friend like you

A DARE AND A PROMISE

Mon, 19 Dec 2005 17:35:22 GMT

Home is here and now and on. I've spent more time with my brother in the past two days than it feels like I have in the last two years and that is important because I love him, he's the best and only brother I got.

Last night I got weeded and had scary "BIG QUESTION" talks with Jacky about babies, life, friends, how fucked up this little suburb is, being a woman and all the shit we put up with...and then we watched Lord Of The Rings but I fell asleep before the end and woke up at 7:30 am to her mom covering me with more blankets. And now I have a crick in my neck and I have therapy at 1:30 and I feel slow, but alive.

Here here.

talk of art and deerhoof

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 20:35:38 GMT

snow
cold hands

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 23:55:43 GMT

i like to ride my bike fast.

oh hey

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 06:56:43 GMT

oh little glass of whiskey
and tom robbins

green eyes

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 17:45:15 GMT

It's a great big world
There's a million other guys
I feel so lucky when I look
In those green eyes

Is it the sun
That makes them so green
Those are the prettiest eyes
I have ever seen

Green eyes...

What makes them sparkle
What makes them shine
What makes those eyes of yours
Look into mine

fuck it, ima oft maself

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 21:44:26 GMT

fuck it, ima oft maself [05 Feb 2005|02:50pm]
[ music | brite eyez ]
dats it. babybaby dunpt me. eye m goin 2 dy.

friends, i love you, each and every one

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 05:00:38 GMT

if you see me pick me up, swing me around, punch me in the face, bite my hands
just do anything to remind me i am alive and everything is fine

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 22:39:27 GMT

today felt like spring but the falling leaves betrayed autumn's disguise. and i felt a little part of me die.

interwebbing in computer labs is like shitting in public

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 22:45:13 GMT

I don't know what the fuck.
Everyday I feel like the grip I've maintained on the circumstances of my life lessens a little more. I am crawling around on my hands and knees. I have trouble breathing, I can't fall asleep, I feel like I might throw all the time. This shit is depressing.

So, I went the Museum of Natural History today. Highlights were the life sized whale and reading about COWAN (Country Women Association of Nigeria), est. in 1979, a grassroots org. empowering rural women, giving them the means to generate income, plan their fams and access health care. Cool.

Oh, by the way, sapphic love.

SOUND OFF

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 18:07:38 GMT

I'm rilly sick and I've lost my voice, and by all means I should be in bed but I am pushin' it, ok? Because that's how we do here in the land of ye olde art school, we fake it until we make it and we make it until we break it.

I don't know how to link 'er up, so if you got some time, plz check out J. Hopper's blog for today Sept. 21 and then check out her subsequent linx. The address is http://tiny.abstractdynamics.org/

So anyway, she speaks truth to life almost every god damn day. This particular entry is about GETTING THERE and shit, we NEED TO GET THERE. Self righteousness aside, what can we do in our own lives, in our own ways, each and every day to break those existing hierarchies that hold us back? MAKE IT HAPPEN.

This is the year, the season of making it happen. So Jen and I pick up instruments and try to play, we make art, we engage each other in discussion, we try to engage our classmates in discussion about what a world without capitol P Patriarchy, a world without racism and a world without homophobia would look like.

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 20:01:36 GMT

sad, sad and angry.

tongue in cheek

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 20:11:27 GMT

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet blingblingvegan? through Julian, critical mass
2.~What would you do if you had never met heyjulieb? Art class would have been far paler.
3.~What do you honestly think of ___dinosaurs? Geoffrey is great, we give each other a lot of shit. Good natured.
4.~Would or did darksatellites and slickmctuff go out? I don't think they know each other, but I could be cosmically wrong.
5.~Have you ever liked superstudio? YES
6.~If pinkdeer died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? Laura, you've helped me through a lot of tuff times and I will always love you for that.
7.~Would mr_roboto and seasleep make a good couple? no, well, maybe, probably not
8.~Describe youreyeslie in 3 words: tall, dark, hot
9.~Do you think eurolymius is hot? yeah
10.~Would pinkdeer and aquaorgasm make a lovely couple? no
11.~What do you think of when you see slickmctuff? I think, "Damn, I wish I saw Sela more often. She's a babe and she's fun/funny."
12.~Tell me something humiliating about seasleep: One time she was made fun of from another vehicle for driving without her headlights on.
13.~Do you know any of allysooon's family members? her cousin Chris
14.~What's cheapredwine's favorite color? platinum?
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is alllifeends? 10!
16.~What would you do if quiets just professed their undying love for you? I would kiss her on her mouth, hard.
17.~What language does darksatellites speak? English
18.~Who is cheapredwine going out with? I don't know
19.~Is blindingxstars a boy or a girl? boy
20.~Would capitolchris and quiets make a good couple? maybe
21.~Who do you think dietcokehead would be great with from this list? I don't know
22.~When was the last time you talked to eurolymius? I saw her on Landsdowne St, maybe half a year ago or more.
23.~What is superstudio's favorite band? the Beatles, the Breeders, The Readcoats Are Coming,
24.~Does mr_roboto have any siblings? yes, a sister?
25.~Would you ever date allysooon? I guess
26.~Would you ever date youreyeslie? I guess
27.~Is dietcokehead single? no?
28.~What is cheapredwine's last name? Phelps
29.~What is capitolchris's middle name? I don't know
30~What is ___dinosaurs's fantasy? get married, have kids, do something influential
31.~Where does blindingxstars live? New York/New Haven
32.~Would you make out with blingblingvegan? Hell yes, Justin is my man.
33.~Are heyjulieb and allysooon best friends? They don't know each other.
34.~Does youreyeslie like cheapredwine? They don't know each other.
35.~How did you meet capitolchris? through Allison/the interweb
36.~Is eurolymius older than you? yes
37.~Is aquaorgasm the sexiest person alive? no

giddy up

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 00:34:57 GMT

in case you didn't know by now, WE'RE ALL GOIN' TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET

ahem

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 02:34:01 GMT

two eggs, a cucumber and a carrot

yesterday, a pigeon pecked my toe

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 18:15:13 GMT

is that good luck? probably not.

let out of work early this afternoon, the day stretches out before me. the opportunities are endless. it really takes hating yr job to appreciate the freeness of an open evening.

two of the cutest babies i've ever seen at the park this morning, with tiny spanish grandmothers. two french speaking women with whom i sat and listened for 20 minutes. one really small dog on the bike ride home.

tonight i get my hair did right. shit needs a fix bad.

gonna go screen a mark bolan t-shirt now?

the first 4 songs i heard this morning and strangely and sadly it all just fit

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 18:29:03 GMT

And I will stroll the merry way
And jump the hedges first
And I will drink the clear
Clean water for to quench my thirst
And I shall watch the ferry-boats
And they’ll get high
On a bluer ocean
Against tomorrow’s sky
And I will never grow so old again
And I will walk and talk
In gardens all wet with rain

Oh sweet thing, sweet thing
My, my, my, my, my sweet thing
And I shall drive my chariot
Down your streets and cry
’hey, it’s me, I’m dynamite
And I don’t know why’
And you shall take me strongly
In your arms again
And I will not remember
That I even felt the pain.
We shall walk and talk
In gardens all misty and wet with rain
And I will never, never, never
Grow so old again.

Oh sweet thing, sweet thing
My, my, my, my, my sweet thing
And I will raise my hand up
Into the night time sky
And count the stars
That’s shining in your eye
Just to dig it all an’ not to wonder
That’s just fine
And I’ll be satisfied
Not to read in between the lines
And I will walk and talk
In gardens all wet with rain
And I will never, ever, ever, ever
Grow so old again.
Oh sweet thing, sweet thing
Sugar-baby with your champagne eyes
And your saint-like smile....

-

The Mississippi Delta was shining
Like a National guitar
I am following the river
Down the highway
Through the cradle of the civil war
I'm going to Graceland
Graceland
In Memphis Tennessee
I'm going to Graceland
Poorboys and Pilgrims with families
And we are going to Graceland
My traveling companion is nine years old
He is the child of my first marriage
But I've reason to believe
We both will be received
In Graceland

She comes back to tell me she's gone
As if I didn't know that
As if I didn't know my own bed
As if I'd never noticed
The way she brushed her hair from her forehead
And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow

I'm going to Graceland
Memphis Tennessee
I'm going to Graceland
Poorboys and Pilgrims with families
And we are going to Graceland

And my traveling companions
Are ghosts and empty sockets
I'm looking at ghosts and empties
But I've reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland

There is a girl in New York City
Who calls herself the human trampoline
And sometimes when I'm falling, flying
Or tumbling in turmoil I say
Oh, so this is what she means
She means we're bouncing into Graceland
And I see losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody feels the wind blow

In Graceland, in Graceland
I'm going to Graceland
For reasons I cannot explain
There's some part of me wants to see
Graceland
And I may be obliged to defend
Every love, every ending
Or maybe there's no obligations now
Maybe I've a reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland

-

I had tender feelings that you made hard,
But it's your heart, not mine, that's scarred.
So when I go home, I'll be happy to go -
You're just somebody that I used to know.

You don't need my help anymore,
It's all now to you, there ain't no before,
Now that you're big enough to run your own show,
You're just somebody that I used to know.

I watched you deal in a dying day,
And throw a living past away,
So you can be sure that you're in control,
You're just somebody that I used to know.

I know you don't think you did me wrong,
And I can't stay this mad for long,
Keeping ahold of what you just let go -
You're just somebody that I used to know.

-

Everything in a world where clocks run forward
Rivers run to the sea
Born into what we're given, by the fact that we've been living
Between mountain number one and the city

Everything that I've said is coming true
I wish you were here, you'd see
Our concern is unafflicted with concern that you're connected
To satellite technology

And out there, where you're fooling around
And you're free, there's no work to be found
And your hair, falling into your mouth
And your arms are open wide

Everything in a world where clocks run slowly
Rivers don't know the sea
Born to do what keeps united
???
The light is really nothing to see

Everything that I've said is coming true
???
By god, it makes me shiver
You're still living by the river
When baby, we were born to run

And out there, when you're fooling around
If you're free there's no words to be found
And your hair, falling into your mouth
And your arms are opened wide

And the light, has grown dark in your eyes
You're 17, and your friends are your life
Come with me, just don't want you to die
Where the river gets you high

And out there, where you're tooling around
If you're free, there's no words to be found
And your hair, falling into your mouth
And your arms are open wide

And the light, has gone out of your eyes
You're 23, and your friends are your ride
Come with me, just don't want you die
And the river gets you high

Yeah yeah

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 17:57:20 GMT

spending warm summer days...in school computer labs

walk or run the day still ends at midnight

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 21:40:28 GMT

beginning or end it's all the same

don't say it's over until it's really over, but it's never really over, is it?

sunburned and lifted

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 16:12:55 GMT

this has been the most perfect summer weekend, definining, perfect to the point i wish i could stretch it out forever.

forever
forever
forever
+

two weeks and the end is in sight, one more week and back to school. there is so much to be done, a lot of fun to be had, a peace to make with myself.

i hope you know that i love it, i love you.